Chapter 1 - Gen 4 - Kayla

 Why my Step-Mother has handed ME this book I will never know!!!!

Why has she chosen me over her own children to carry on the Swan family tradition - when I am only family through marriage and not blood??

I look back at this picture of me before I became a vampire.  I can remember exactly how I felt back then and it was not good!!!

My life has been up till now a little bit rocky to say the least.  I grew up with a very poor family in a tiny house that was not big enough for a couple, and there were actually eight of us sharing one double bed - it was hell!!

 My family, or what I though was my family, but it turned out to be one big lie.

I lived with my Mom, Dad, brothers Lex, Chase, Cory, Evan, my sister Casey and then there was me.   Chase was always my favourite big brother, and as a brother I always thought he was a little too over doting with me.  Then I found out the truth, and looking back, it was pretty obvious, there was something not quite right with my family.  Lex and Chase - there was something between them that I could never quite put my finger on, a hatred that brothers should never have.  When the truth came out - everything became very clear.

My parents, were not my parents, but my grandparants.  My brothers and sister were actually my Aunty and Uncles, all except for Evan and Chase.  Evan is not my brother, he is my half brother/cousin and Chase he is my Dad.

I think the hardest thing for me to take in was not the fact that Chase was my Dad, but that Lex was Evans Dad and me and Evan had the same Mother - now I understood the hatred between Chase and Lex - but still it did not make it any easier to live with.  At first I was very angry, especially with Chase, who had up and left me to get married and had other children, my half brother and sisters.  I was also angry with my Mother, who ever she was and wherever she is - she had gone off and left me!!

My Step-Mother, Kandice Swan, or Candy as my Dad calls her.

All I can say about her is that she is some piece of work!!!!!  Wild and flighty and while she has given my Dad a lot of happiness she has also given him a lot more pain!!  How or why he hangs onto this relationship I will never know!!!!  

But he must love her in his own way to put up with the rubbish that she dishes out to him.  She is like a huricane - she knocks everyone off thier feet and leaves a trail of destruction where ever she blows!!!  She has always had this hold over my Dad, what she says goes and whatever she wishes for happens and that's that, it does not matter what other people want - what she wants she gets!!

I have since met my Mom, Suzanna, or Suzie as my Dad calls her.  She lives in Twinbrook where she ran off too the day I was born, leaving me and Evan without a Mom.

My Dad actually found my Mom by accident we had gone out to Twinbrook because of Dads work, I had been dragged along as some sort of punishment in a way, I was getting too close to Samir, my Step Mothers Dad, and they thought we needed distance put between us, but that's a whole other story I don't want to go into right now.

Finding my Mom in Twinbrook was surprise enough, but my Dad got the shock of his life when he found what my Mother had been hiding from him all these years - my twin sister Charity.

Charity - my twin sister, that feels really strange, and something I am not sure I will ever get used to.

I wish Mom and Charity could come to live in Riverview but it is all too complicated and all too sad, especially for both Mom and Dad who actually love each other, but can not be together, my step mother is making damn sure of that!!!  Evan has also moved out to Twinbrook with them, the further away from Lex he gets the happier he is, another reason why they don't move to Riverview.  I could meddle and interfere to get my parents back together,  but to be honest it is their mess to sort out, I am sure one day it will work itself out - they deserve to be together, they are both miserable being apart!!  I have my own life to take care of now I know who I am and where I am - I think!!

Is it actually possible to love two people at once - my Dad thinks it is, because he does - and this question strikes a raw nerve with me too!!!

One more thing I need to get off my chest before I get on with my life - Samir.

Samir is my step mothers Dad, my Dads father-in-law.   For me Samir has been the cause of a few sleepless nights.  Do I or  Don't I - that was the question.

 We have this connection like I have never had with anyoone else in my life, not even anyone in my dis functional family.  We are best mates, soul mates, there is a chemistry there that I can not explain.  For quite a while there we were inseparable and everything was purely platonic - there was not even the slightest of romantic thoughts there.  Two grown adults sharing a bed without any of the relationship rubbish might not look normal to most people but to us it was perfectly fine.  I will bunk up with anyone me, I have had to do it with my family in the early days just to get sleep in a bed instead of on the floor, Samir did it for company which gave him comfort without all the touchy feely stuff, he had not long lost his wife and was emotionally stuck in a horrible place.

 When Anton came into my life Samir was still there, nothing changed between us we were still inseperable and we were happy.

Happy until Samir suddenly decided to complicate things by telling me he did have romantic feelings for me afterall,  It was like a switch had been flicked because suddenly I was feeling it too.  But nothing happened, Samir moved out, he could not trust himself to be around me any more and watching me with Anton was killing him so he did the gracious thing and left me and Anton to get on with our lives.  For one mad moment there I nearly followed him - torn between the feelings I had for him and the feelings I had for Anton.

Why am I telling you this - because if I have learnt one thing from my parents - hiding the truth causes more pain in the long run and even though at the moment the relationship between me and Samir is purely friendship - I can not promise that in the future I am not going to wish for something more.

Only time knows what the future will bring and even I don't know what I will wish for!!

Looking at the front cover of this book that Kandice gave me -  it says

"You get what you wish for"

so lets see ........................

 I have already got a lot of things in my life that I have wished for.

My Lifetime Wish I have already achieved, I remember sitting in a tiny little house crammed to the rafters, scruffy clothes, some days there was not enough to eat, being a child I did a lot of dreaming and I wished  that one day I could have the Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous.

I never in a million years expected my Life Time Wish to ever come true.

My Dad married into the Swan family who are all rich and famous.  My own celebrity status has slowly risen over the years from association but the day I married Anton Swan, who is a 5 star celebrity himself, I became a 5 star celebrity and my lifetime wish was done.

I met Anton at work, we both work at the music theatre in Riverview.  Anton being a Swan I was intrigued at the connection between him and my step mother Kandice.  Anton turned out to be Kandice's Uncle, his sister Taylor being Kandice's Mom.

At first our relationship grew just at work, we did not really socialise out of work.  When we did start to socialise out of work, our house was a problem to him as it was the house he grew up in and where his sister and Dad had died, I thought it was quite funny that I was actually aquainted with his sisters and Dads ghosts as they still wanders around our house sometimes.  Being in the house brought back a lot of memories for him.

As our relationship became more and more serious, I wanted to move in with him and I wanted to propose marriage.  Patiently I waited hoping that Anton would want the same.

I asked him to move in first, and after a bit of discussion he moved back into the house were he grew up,

There was a lot of mad stuff going on at the time with my Dad and Kandice, both of them having an affair, the fighting and arguing was constant and I was really worrying about my Dad.  Then my half sister Laura aquired a fascination for DIY and could not help but try to fix broken things - two computers and two fires she caused, the second fire actually caused her premature exit from this world when she burnt to death, she was still a teenager, it was a hard time for all of us.

Another death in this house was the last thing that Anton wanted, and for a while after he spent quite a lot of time hanging around where his Dads gravestone had been placed. 

He was pretty surprised that his mother Faith had left his Dads gravestone  behind when she moved out, which upset him a little, and said when we moved into our own place, he was going to take his Dads gravestone with him to our new house.  We had already decided that we were not going to live here forever, and I could not wait till we got our own place but I felt I had to stick around for a while longer until Dad and Kandice sorted out their differences.

Just as I thought I was the one who was going to have to do it.

Anton surprised me by getting down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

Of course I was really happy and the answer was always going to be yes!!

It was quite a while before we actuallly got married.  We waited for a while, Anton wanted to throw a wedding party, but I did not really want the fuss.  I said we would if the war zone quietened down but it didn't 

so we just went off to the wedding chapel alone and got married quietly.

So I am now officially a Swan.

I also gained a celebrity star from marrying Anton and became a 5 star celebrity.

Being a 5 star celebrity was what I needed to be to achieve my Life Time Wish - so the day I got married I also achieved my Life Time Wish.

Straight away Anton starts talking about babies - he does not intend on wasting any time does he!!!  Mind you he is getting pretty close to his mature adult birthday, but he should not worry so much being a vampire -there is plenty of time for us to have 100's of kids if we wanted that many - which we don't!!

This brought around the conversation of our moving out and getting our own place again, I would like to be settled into a new house before we thought about babies. 

Then he springs me with a surprise - that he has already found us a new house to live in, in a nice part of Riverview,

So here I am stood outside looking at our new home.

It is finally nice to have our own space - and the rest of my life starts from here.

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Chapter 2

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