Chapter 3 - Chasing the Past

"It is not so easy with Evan"

"Why not?"

"Lex" Suzie said

"Why do you think I said Evan needs you - because of Lex - he lives with my parents not Lex - Lex is pretty mean to him"

"Oh" she looked shocked

"Exactly!!"

"What is he like - Evan?"

"He actually looks a lot like Lex but personality wise he is Nothing like Lex - thats for sure, he is very shy, timid, withdrawn - lost - I know he is an adult now but my parents are getting old and he really needs you"

"Maybe you should have bought him with you and Kayla"

"I did not know I was going to find you - I wasn't actually looking for you, I was looking in the phone book for somebody else's number and your name just jumped out at me because they were on the same page.  I actually came here hoping it wasn't you!!"

"So why did you even bother to come then?"

"Because Kayla asked me to find you a while back and I know Evan could do with you - me and Lex could do without you - there has been a lot more going on since you and lets just say if you could kill me and get away with it he would be quite happy!!"

"Why what has happened"

"I don't want to talk about it - there is too much!!"

Still nothing was sorted out - she was not going to budge, she was not going to move to Riverview and she was not going to let Charity either.
To be honest, it probably would be better for everyone concerned for her to stay here in Twinbrook, could you just image Lex - Suzie in Riverview would probably only set Lex off again.  It would be nothing for Evan to move to Twinbrook he would probably love the idea of being hundreds of miles away from Lex.  Charity and Kayla were going to be the ones causing the problem - I can imagine that now they know about each other they will not want to be separated again, and I definitely wanted to spend as much time as I could with Charity.  This really was a mess!!!!

"How much longer are you going to be washing those hands of yours, you have been up here for half an hour already!!!"

Suzie suddenly appeared in the bathroom, I had been miles away lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized I had been up here for so long.

"Sorry I was thinking"

"And washing your hands helps you think??

"No ...."

Suzie stepped closer to me and started flirting again.

"Stop it Suzie"

"Why? you used to like it"

"Well I have grown up a lot since then"

"So I can see" she said coming closer and closer with that look in her eyes.

 "I said Stop Suzie"

"You know you want to"

"NO I DON'T"

"Ok! Ok! calm down"

"I am married Suzie and I really am not interested!!"

"It never bothered you when I was married"

"Yes well I was young and stupid and you were the one who should have been worrying about your marriage!!"

I really don't know what happened or how it happened, but all my brain was registering was that we had our arms wrapped around each other and we were kissing each other like our lives depended on it - how on earth had I let this happen when only seconds before I was telling her no!!

Oh god I had forgotten how much of a great kisser she was.
breathlessly I pulled away

"Suzie stop"

"What's wrong?"

"I cant do this - I shouldn't be doing this - I ....."

"Who will know?"

"I will!!!"

"I can not do this Suzie - I don't want to do this - I have a wife and family back home and I can not risk losing them!!"

She just looked at me but said nothing.

"I need to go I have a concert to perform in a few hours - we will talk tomorrow about Charity and nothing else - this is never going to happen again!!

When I got downstairs the girls had come back.

"Ill leave tickets on the door for you Concert starts at 8pm"

"Ok Dad" Kayla said

"Kayla are you staying here tonight or at the hotel"

"Here" she replied

"Ok see you both later.

After the concert I headed back to the hotel, I was glad of some alone time I really needed to think.  Kissing Suzie earlier was a big mistake and I could not let it happen again.  The trouble was I don't know how she does it, I don't know how she draws me in and messes with all my senses!!  She used to do it to me before and she had done it again today.

For one minute I thought about Candy then my thoughts turned to daydreams, and I found myself daydreaming about Suzie and kissing her earlier and how it made me feel and ...
Knock Knock Knock
The sound of the door knocking brought me back to reality.
"come in" I called, thinking it would be room service but instead in walked Suzie.

"What on earth are you doing here?"

"Kayla told me where to find you"

"You haven't answered my question - what are you doing here?"

"I thought we needed to talk"

"About Charity?"

"No about earlier"

"There is nothing to talk about, it should not have happened and it won't be happening again, so don't even try to kiss me again!!"

As I said it the back of my neck started tingling and a cold sensation shot down my body and all I really wanted to do was to kiss her again.

She got onto the bed  and lay down next to me, which made me feel really uneasy, I knew if she touched me I would not be able to control myself.

"Chase I think its about time you admitted to your feelings and we did something about it!"

"What feelings?"

"The feelings you have for me"

"But I don't have any feelings for you!"

"Oh come on, you can not kiss me like that and say you don't have any feelings"

"But I don't"

"Well I think you do, and do you know another give away -  you have not once told me that you love your wife!!"

I had to think about that for a moment, I suppose she was right, I hadn't told her that I loved Candy - but then again why should I

"Look you don't love me, I don't love you, so why are we even having this conversation - we made a mistake in the past - all we need to be talking about is the girls - nothing else because there is nothing else!!

"You don't have a clue how I feel and your wrong - and I think deep down you know you are - you just don't want to admit it and I don't know why!!"
"Your wrong" I said feebly
She grabbed me and started to pull me close to her - it did not matter that I was denying it because I didn't really want to stop her, she had touched me and I had already lost control.

I knew I should not be doing this, but I really couldn't and did not want to stop it.  She was over me kissing me, my senses had gone again and I was transported backwards in time I felt like a naughty boy again kissing someone I shouldn't be kissing.  Rolling about on the bed making out with Suzie in the past had given me a rush -


knowing any minute Lex could walk in and catch us - it was daring and dangerous - the thrill made it more exiting.

Now there was no one to come in to catch us - no danger, no thrill - so it felt very different, and this different was worrying me because it was like nothing I had ever felt before.  Had this been there all the time???  Had the danger and the thrill just hidden what was really there in the first place??

We fell asleep -and before I drifted off I felt like I did not have a care in the world, I felt warm fuzzy and happy - a feeling I had never really felt before, I swear I fell asleep with a big grin on my face.

She woke me up kissing me, I hadn't even opened my eyes and it happened all over again.  This time I didn't fight it - my head and my body were on the same page.

I was holding her hand and playing with her fingers and staring into her eyes. - a million miles away not really thinking anything.

"Now tell me you don't love me Chase!!"

As soon as she spoke, I fell back into reality.  In a panic I scrambled out off the bed and for the first time my head started screaming at me "What have you done!!!"

I was getting upset because I was confused.  Confused with all these new feelings and emotions running through my body every time she touched me - that I really did not understand.
My head was saying "what about Candy" and the rest of me was telling me that I was actually in love with Suzie, and I probably always had been  - what the hell had I done!!

The realisation freaked me out - I am in love with Suzie why had I never seen it before!!??  Candy what the hell was I going to do about Candy - I thought I loved her and now when I think about her I just feel numb - I don't know how I feel any more.  I needed to see her, I needed to be with her because I just don't know any more - I am confused.

"What have I done - what am I going to do - OMG I am such an idiot!!"

I didn't realise I had said it out loud till Suzie asked me
"What have you done - why are you an idiot??"

"I have to go home Suzie, I can not do this, I'm confused - I need to see Candy - I should be with my wife - I need to get out of here, I can not think straight!!!"

"No Chase - you can't do this to me now!!   You can not leave me not again"

"I never left you in the first place - you ran away remember"

"I know I was stupid - I should have stayed and sorted it out - I am not going to let you make the same mistake as I did you are not running away back to her - you should be with me, you should have always been with me!!"

"WHAT!!??"

"You love me I know you do - just admit it"

"It is not so easy - I am married I have four children at home - they need me, I can not just walk out on them!!"

"Please don't go running back now - you have till the end of the week, don't you have concerts till Sunday, we have the rest of the week to sort something out!!"

"We still have to sort out what is happening with the girls - so you can't go"

"Don't start using the girls against me!!"

"I'm not using the girls, but you know yourself something needs sorting out"

She pulled me closer

"Don't Suzie"

But she didn't listen.

and I didn't stop her

There was only one place we were going to end up.

and if there had been any doubt in my head before it was now gone.

I was deeply in love with Suzie and there was not a damn thing I could do about it!!!







Spending all day in and out of bed with Suzie was not the brightest thing I have ever done, especially as I had a concert to perform.

The carpool came to pick me up.  I really didnt know how I was going to pull this concert off - I was totally exhausted and totally stressed - now I had made a right mess of my life and I did not have the slightest clue how I was going to sort it out!!!





There was definitely going to be an unhappy ending for somebody - but who was it going to be - Suzie or Candy??



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Chapter 4
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