To say I made some huge decisions about my life is an understatement.
I left in the middle of the night while everyone was sleeping.
A note on the kitchen table explained everything,
how I felt, why I was leaving and a promise that I would fulfil my responsibility of being the heir of the Swan wishacy, I just would not be doing it with them in my life.
I left no forwarding adress, but mainly because I was walking out in the middle of the night and did not have a clue myself as to where I would end up - I just knew I had to get the hell out of there before I cracked up!!
I left with just the clothes I was wearing and in a back pack I had two books and a teddybear, my guitar, a sleeping bag and a little bit of money that I had saved from my after school job at the grocery store.
As much as I loved my family I just couldn't hack it!!
My grandparents and sister were not a problem - it was not them I was running away from.
My Dad, Uncle and brother were the problems.
Watching your Dad making out with another man has to be the grosses thing ever!!
My Dad and my Uncle Jaiden (my Mothers brother) are gay and married to each other.
I just couldnt take it - it is so not normal and unnatural.
Then there was the final straw - my brother.
The last conversation we had will probably haunt me forever.
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I had seen something at school that turned my stomach, I had rode home from school on the school bus in a daze, stewing over what I had seen. I had seen my brother on the bus when I got on but purposefully sat away from him.
Suddenly he plonked himself on the empty seat next to me.
"So, are you going to the prom?" Willow interupted my thoughts
"Go sit somewhere else quit bugging me!!"
I was angry with him and didn't want to talk to him
"Soorrrryy - who has rattled your cage??"
"Actually you have now get lost"
"What the hell did I do - I haven't seen you all day"
"Oh but I have seen you - just go sit somewhere else and leave me alone"
Willow did as I asked and went and sat a few rows behind me, I rode the rest of the way home wrapped up in my thoughts again. Willow did not leave me alone for very long because as soon as we got inside the house he was in my face again demanding to know what the problem was.
"So come on spit it!!"
"Get lost Willow"
"No - I want to know Wes, I am just going to keep bugging you till you tell me"
"OK - your like them arent you!!"
"Like who?"
"Dad - your just like him aren't you!!"
"What?"
"I saw you, kissing someone by the swings and that was definately not a girl!!"
"Oh!!"
"Oh - is that all you can say?"
"Well what else do you expect me to say - so what you saw me kissing Malcolm?"
"Your gay as well arent you??!!"
"I think so"
"You only think - well I will tell you something the thought of kissing another boy makes me want to puke - your gay and your discusting and does Dad know?"
"No - but its not like he can say anything is it!!"
"You should go tell him, I'm sure it will make his day, he will be dead proud he has spawned another shirt lifting faggot!!!!!"
"Get lost - you can be evil sometimes - there is no need to say such nasty things!!"
"Shoot me for being innapropriate, but I would rather be innappropriate than a faggot like you!! And I am warning you - you keep your queer friends away from me and don't let me see you kissing one cause I will knock both of your blocks off - I am sick of watching Dad and Jaiden slobbering over each other, I don't need you joining in too!!!!"
He just looked at me without saying a word
"Got nothing to say - ha! - all we need now is Whisper to get a girlfriend and we will be well away!! A houseful of faggots - isn't this just cosy!!"
"You leave Whisper alone she hasn't done anything"
"Not yet - give her time!!"
That was actually the last conversation I had with my brother.
The day after was my birthday and I became a young adult,
and that was the night I walked out.
My plan - I did not have one - all I knew - I was never going back!!
There was just one thing I had to do before leaving town, not that I wanted to do it, but it had to be done for my future survival - a trip to the science fascility would cure the problem - then I was free to do whatever I pleased!!
My name is Wesley Swan
Welcome to my human life!!
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Ooo!!! Human! :)
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